"The Weird Guy"

There was this totally weird guy on my old street. The only time I would ever see him was when he would be mowing the lawn or manicuring his flowers.

I did know a little about him, though. He liked to square dance, and he spent a lot of time outside. I knew these things from a bumper sticker on his car, and from his dark tan.

Anyway, I tried to stay away from his house. The only time we ever exchanged words was when he was manicuring one day, and I said, "You've got a nice lawn."

"Thanks," he grunted back.

That's the only communication we'd ever had. Well, this friend of mine was discussing the weird guy with me one windy day. My friend said he gave kites away to kids. "He gives away kites?" I asked, skeptically. My friend nodded.

That was all it took. The next day, I knocked on the weird guy's door, hoping to get a kite. Nothing happened, so I rang the bell. This time, the door opened, and I blurted out "Hi, I'm Josh and I would like a kite."

As soon as I said that, I realized that nobody was at the door listening.

"Come inside!" ordered a deep voice from far away. I obeyed.

The first thing I noticed was that it was dark and ominous inside the house.

"I knew you would come eventually. All the kids do when they hear about the kites," said the voice.

I was confused. This guy had been expecting me? "Sir," I began.

"Silence!" he shouted. "Your kite is behind you. Take it and go in peace."

I promptly obeyed and exited the house with my new kite.

You know, the weird guy never did talk to me ever again.


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